Spiritual Prostitution
This year has been such a journey for me. I have seen the goodness of God working in my life BEYOND anything I had ever imagined. For those of you who know, I went through a rather rocky patch in my Christian walk, like verrrrryyy rocky and I was starting to question who God was to me. Needless to say I made a lot of really stupid mistakes and in that moment when I hit rock bottom I looked up and asked God to just help me.
Like seriously no long prayers (I doubt I could have done it even if I tried), no crying (well there was lots of crying before that moment), just a moment when I hit exhaustion and all I could manage was "help me". That experience just proved to show that God hears ALL prayers and in my moment of spiritual defeat and weakness that was enough, after that the rest was history.
In just a matter of a week my WHOLE life was turned right side up. God opened doors that seemed pretty closed and made a way that was not humanly possible. Lets just say that the results of that major change was me getting accepted into post-grad and moving country. And as much as I was sad to leave my family and friends behind, God had a destiny appointment with me. This move turned out to be the biggest blessing yet, because it is here where God rebuild His relationship with me. And I have NEVER EVER felt more loved than I do now. My stormy season has made me see and experience the goodness of God. And there is never a moment that I can think how far He has brought me without being overcome with a flood of tears. His love OVERWHELMS me!!!!
But despite everything that God has done for me, I have committed spiritual prostitution. God has given me all these promises and so far He has not failed on one (and He wont fail on any), but somewhere in all of this I got impatient or desperate, I dont know, I guess I am still tryna figure out which one it is. I traded Gods glorious promises for a few measly compliments from a guy I have no business with. I traded my Fathers presence and intimacy, for intimacy with a man that can never fulfill any of the desires and longings I have. I went back to the vomit of my past and to put it crudely I ate from it. God wants so much for us, but so often we are the cause of our own misery and misfortune. Not only did I trade God's presence for a man's affection (or lack off), but I was compromising my destiny for something I would most probably regret terribly.
When we go seek fulfillment in the world its like going from the palace of your father into the street to eat garbage and beg for scraps. We leave the place where we are prince and princess's and trade it to become beggars of the world. Its a rather sobering thought. But for once I am happy I realised that I was out on the streets begging for something I was never meant to have and that ALL I needed was and is in my Father's house. I guess for once I just got tired of always going to my past of pain, its like I am out to punish myself or just wreck my own life. But I suppose my two years of wilderness taught me something valuable... AINT NO WAY I AM GOING BACK THERE!!!
That's it ....
I am done committing spiritual prostitution.
I am done settling for scraps and leftovers.
I am done eating from the vomit of my past.
I am done feeling guilty for things God has already forgiven me for.
I am done holding on to past hurts.
I am done swaying back and forth.
I am done putting God second.
I am basically just done with this self destructive behaviour....My Farther only has good things in store for me. A great job, a great husband, a great family, a great ministry. My life is filled with so much promise and its time I let go of the things that keep me back and throw myself completely in this journey called faith.
And as I finally close the door on my past, ALL of it, I say yes to the promises of God . And I may not always understand the work He is doing in me, but I know that this will be the best part of life. See God never kept any good thing from me, my sin and rebellion kept me away from the promises of God. And there comes a time when you have to say YES to God and His plans and fully die to yourself and I guess that moment has arrived for me.
Are you ready to let go of the things that keep pulling you away from God?
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Than maybe its time that you to should die to yourself and resurrect in Christ.
The book of Hosea is such a powerful word on how we are so often spiritual prostitutes. But it is also such a beautiful reminder of the LOVE of God.
WILL YOU???
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