When life does not go quite to plan

I have always dreamt of getting married. I had imagined the dress, the colours, the cake and the décor. I had pretty much everything figured out except for the groom. At the time I was not too worried about it, I mean I was like 16; I knew I had all the time in the world to meet the right guy, fall in love and get married. Although I was not saved at that age I always held marriage in high esteem. I knew that once I committed to it, it would be for life. I wanted to share my life with someone until my very last breath.

I must say I have learned a lot about marriage between then and now. My walk with God has just really shed some truth to the God−intention of marriage. I truly see the divine purpose and beauty in it and because of that revelation; I chose not to rush into it. I chose to let God lead me to right man. But boy I did not know that when I gave my life to God at 18, that at almost 24 I would still be VERY single. According to my very great life plan, I would at least be in a serious enough relationship that will eventually lead to marriage.

Little did I know that God had not planned for me to be married yet.  Between then and now, I must admit I was not the best lady in waiting; often times I wanted to take my own life in my hands and just run with it. I felt that God’s plans were just taking a little too long and I really want to meet Mr. Right-for-me. Needless to say, I ended up with a broken heart a little too many times.

I am learning to trust God and I must be honest it is not easy. It is not easy when every friend, acquaintance and classmate I know is either being married or engaged. I often sit and find myself asking, “When will it be me Lord?” But I remind myself to keep my eyes on Jesus, to keep doing the work of the kingdom. My desire to get married is not any less and I am sure waiting on God, BUT I have learned to be content in my single season, I am learning more about myself, to serve, to grow in my relationship with God. Don’t get me wrong, I have my days when I get so discouraged that no romantic prospects are happening that I fuss and complain and I just get plain unhappy. At the end of the day I am just human and I need to make a conscious choice every day to be content with the season I am going through.

Maybe my season may end soon, maybe it will only happen much later, or maybe I am called to singleness to do the work of my Father. I don’t know how this will play out, but I am happy that at the end of the day I get to spend the rest of my life, eternity and a day with the love of my life. He makes me happy, He really does.  I have my ups and down with Him, but the more time I spend with Him the more I fall in love and if it ends up just being me and Him, I would have lived a life where I was loved beyond measure. And that’s good enough for me.

Isaiah 58:11 "..And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail."